I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
