dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
