Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
