Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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