its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
