birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
