i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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