# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I wish there were birth control emojis
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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