it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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