I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize