so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize