Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he fucked my hip out of place.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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