I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need water and some morals
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
