i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
