I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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