Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize