Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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