i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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