Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
