I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
