Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
