My hand turned me down
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
