Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
