Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
