He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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