and my herpes radar will keep us safe
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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