Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
