I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
