i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
