Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize