Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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