Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
