I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
