Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
