nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't turn off my feet"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
