Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
