'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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