I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
