No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
a search helicopter?!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
