It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
