I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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