i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
God, I missed his penis.
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