Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
