Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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