She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
