So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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