i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
