So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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