i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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