I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
