UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
