just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
