How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize