Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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