i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
