If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
