either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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