the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
