Kiss
Puke
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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