I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
