True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
