Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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