Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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